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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?